If #Trump were Captain of the Titanic

If Trump were Captain of the Titanic:

- there isn't any iceberg
- it's a fake iceberg
- there was an iceberg but it's in a totally different ocean
- the iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon
- there is an iceberg but we didn't hit the iceberg
- we hit the iceberg but the damage will be repaired very shortly
- I knew from the beginning there was an iceberg, long before people called it an iceberg
- the iceberg is a Chinese iceberg
- we are taking on water but every passenger who wants a lifeboat can get a lifeboat, and they are beautiful lifeboats
- look, passengers need to ask nicely for the lifeboats if they want them
- we don't have any lifeboats, we're not lifeboat distributors
- passengers should have panned for icebergs and brought their own lifeboats
- I really don't think we need that many lifeboats
- we have lifeboats and they're supposed to be our lifeboats, not the passengers lifeboats
- the lifeboats were left on shore by the last captain of this ship
- nobody could have foreseen the iceberg
- I'm an expert on icebergs; nobody knows more about icebergs than me
- I've got lots of friends who deal with icebergs, some of the best, really good ice people who know ice
- summer will come and the iceberg will disappear, it will go away like magic